(~simul iustus & peccator~) (lovelies) wrote,
(~simul iustus & peccator~)
lovelies

But lovelies, I'm sure you can't find dildos in the Bible!

Yes, yes I can.

You also took your fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself images of men, and with them played the harlot -- Ezekiel 16:17 RSV

You took your fair gifts, the gold and silver jewelry I had given you, you made them into symbols of manhood and practiced adultery with them.


I love Ezekiel, because a) it's damned funny and b) because I always, in my head, hear the text being shouted out loud by the voice of Samuel L. Jackson.

BEHOLD, THE SIN OF YOUR SISTER SODOM WAS BOLD SELFISHNESS. SHE AND HER DAUGHTERS LEAD PROSPEROUS AND CARELESS LIVES, BUT TO THE WRETCHED AND TO THE POOR THEY WOULD NOT OPEN THEIR HANDS. THEY BECAME EVEN BOLDER, AND TO DEFY ME THEY TOOK UP EVER NEWER ABOMINATIONS, AND THAT IS WHEN I WIPED THEM AWAY, AS YOU HAVE SEEN. AND SAMARIA DID NOT COMMIT HALF OF YOUR SINS. YOU (Israel) HAVE DONE MORE ABOMINABLE DEEDS THAN BOTH OF YOUR SISTERS TOGETHER. COMPARED TO THE ABOMINATIONS YOU HAVE COMMITTED, BOTH OF YOUR SISTERS LOOK PURE AND INNOCENT. -- 16:49-51 (because the English translations suck, a lot)

Also featured heavily in Ezekiel: the importance of subtext. If you pig-headedly insist that only the main-text exists and there is no allegory, then what you have is pure straightforward porn, with pairings such as YHWH/Israel (lolikon!), Samaria/Assur, Jerusalem/Babylon (femslash?), Jerusalem/Everybody.
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