February 1st, 2005

Evil Mutants

(no subject)

From finland:

+15°C This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5C Italian cars won't start.
The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C Distilled water freezes.
The water in Vantaa River gets a little thicker.

-5°C People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C The British start the heat in their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer Celebrations - autumn is here.

-30°C People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40 C Paris starts cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C Korvatunturi freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Koskenkorva (Finnish type of vodka) outdoors. [Spirits, actually]
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C All atom-based movement halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."

-300°C Hell freezes over.
Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.