October 19th, 2005

Naama: So Emo

Thoughts that pale in the light of the morning...

I've taken ambivalence to mean being two minds about something, which it sort of is. But to me, possibly because I personally can easily hold onto two opposing opinions without caring one way or the other, it's come to mean a sort of 'meh' attitude toward both. So it's confused me, when I've come across mentions of a passionate ambivalence in texts, because something like that would not compute to me.

So, when I was falling asleep, I started deconstructing the word. I've had a sort of a kink for making personal 'folk' etymologies since I was a kid.

So.

Ambo + bi + valere

Both (of) two (that) are strong

It makes more sense now, in the contexts where it has confused me before. And while I was at it, I also convinced myself that 'amphitheater' came from ambo + phi (Φ) - both (sides of) the diameter of a circle, because I needed something to back up my ambo-theory.

I've had stranger ideas in the twilight. Like that the illusion of 'self' governing the combination of biology (feelings) and the sensory data we've amassed and stored from the 6th week after conception on (context) is merely an evolutionary trait that has guaranteed our procession as the dominant species of the planet.